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The Day I Said “No!”

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Image courtesy | Reflectionsfromaredhead.com

It was the 08th of April, 2016!

I was chosen to be the Facilitator for a Change Management process training initiated by a vertical of my department. The head of the vertical sent a message through a colleague of mine that I would have to arrange the laptop for this training since his Mac Book would not synchronize with the projector.

I have a Chrome book so synchronizing my laptop to the projector was also out of the question. In normal circumstances, a laptop would have been requested from the Technology team and would have been used in the Boardroom.

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Image courtesy | Shutterstock

These were not normal circumstances.

The International Leadership Team of my company was in town and the Board Room was requested from us for their use rendering us “roomless”.

We now had to consider and book an external venue much to everyone’s chagrin. Now at this external venue, synchronizing our laptop machines to the projector were considered a challenge.

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Image courtesy | LinkedIn

However I had a different challenge. I was co-facilitating this training with the Head of the said vertical.

And considering it was his initiative, I couldn’t understand why the responsibility of arranging this machine fell on me. I could have understood if we were in different locations or he didn’t have a team!.

However, he was in the same location as I and had 3 team members compared to me who has none. I also had a challenge understanding why the message was conveyed to me indirectly.

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Image courtesy | CareerAddict

Was I unapproachable? Or was this simply to establish hierarchy?!

I am always on the fence on whether I am a true millennial or not. I was born in December,1979 so this is always the confusion.

However, for the purposes of this blog let’s assume that I am a millennial. So how do millennials view hierarchy?

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Image courtesy | Lindsey Pollak

I was reading an article on this subject and it said,”While older generations view organizations in the context of hierarchy, millennials are more focused on collaborating and equality.” (http://teamstrength.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/10-Ways-Millennials-Are-Creating-The-Future-of-Work.pdf)

I frankly couldn’t agree more. We are both Vertical heads.

The vertical head in question and I. Though, he is older in age and experience to me.

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Image courtesy | Concepts New Central

But that to me doesn’t mean a thing. I live in a country and belong to  a culture where elders are respected and revered but at the same time I don’t agree that age gives entitles you to a license to behave as you please.

And this was the space I was coming from. Why couldn’t he speak to me ,himslef  when clearly he needed my help and secondly who died and made him the boss of me?!

What gives him the right to tell me to do things for him and why does he feel hes entitled to my support? I couldn’t wrap my head around these questions.

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Image courtesy | Linda Gallindo

He was clearly coming from a “command and control” mentality which I didn’t  appreciate. I didn’t arrange the laptop.

There were several reasons for it. The top most was that I didn’t want him to think that it was okay to treat me like a minion.

But from a realistic point of view this was his initiative so he must take full accountability. Why shift it onto someone else whilst he remained footloose and fancy free?

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Image courtesy | Femina

Also, I had a busy day. I am handling an important initiate of the organization which attracts a lot of attention from the senior management.

I was on that day in a meeting which was supposed to happen between my boss and the CEO the next day. My boss and I were both refining a presentation deck that we had to use for the CEO.

From 11:00 a.m to 02:25 p.m we refined the deck, followed by the meeting at 02:30 p.m. By the time we wrapped up it was 05:00 p.m. Both my boss were hungry and tired.

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Image courtesy | Holy Kaw!

At such a time I came back to my desk to a screenplay of pings with underpinnings of sweet manipulations. Things like I will cover this and you can cover that.

All set for tomorrow and such inquiries. I knew that this was leading to the laptop arrangement piece and got busy with more important things.

As I was preparing to leave, he ran behind me and caught me and asked me whether the laptop had been arranged. I said no.

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Image courtesy | Work.com

He says, I had “conveyed” that it needs to be arranged and that he didn’t know that he had to come and talk to me in person to get it down. And didn’t I get the message?

I said I got the message alright but didn’t pay much attention to it as I had my own things to do. His body language signaled that he was angry and was expecting me to do it now.

I informed him that I had an Uber waiting and had to get home. He tried to convince me but as I gave solutions to problems it was clear that I was not going to risk missing my Uber for this laptop arrangement.

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Image courtesy | Jennifer Chaney

He turned around and walked off in a huff. I thought this was extremely professional.

I proceeded to my Uber and was on the way home. I tend to dial in my folks at home on the way home and was deep in conversation with my dad when I saw a call coming in from him.

I ignored the first one but when it rang again I took the call. There was livid vertical head on the other side informing me that he was upset hat I had not arranged the laptop.

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Image courtesy | Pinterest

And  that he couldn’t understand why such a big deal had been made in it. To which I responded that I wasn’t aware that I was responsible for logistics when clearly he had a team.

He said his team wasn’t responsible and that it was being done at all other locations by my counterparts and hence it was expected that I do it as well. I disagreed and pointed out that they did it ‘coz his team nor he was there. What was his excuse here?

He ranted on about how uncollaborative and unsupportive I was being. And I made half hearted attempts to defend myself and let her blow steam.

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Image courtesy | CartoonStock.com

At the end of it, he did run out of steam and hung up on me. Another portrayal of unprofessional behavior.

Mind you we are equals as far as roles are concerned. We have no reporting relationship with each other and in fact report to the same person.

The only place where there is a superiority at play is his age and experience. And I think hes the only one who thinks too much of it.

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Image courtesy | Deb Garraway

Having said this I must point out that I did report to him once upon a time, but now due to a strange twist of fate, we are peers. So was he stuck in a time warp where he thought that I was the same person that I was when I was reporting into him?

A lot has changed over the years, my responsibilities as well as my role.

Under him I was diminished to arranging space for training whereas today I handle one of the most important initiatives for the organization. My time is important and valuable. At that moment I was also going through a lot personally having been recently , married, moved to a new city, a new job, a horrible boss and insufferable in laws.

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Image courtesy | Quotezine

As my manager he never once inquired how things were in my personal life. And frankly I am not the types to leverage on the sympathy.

My head space was different at that time. It’s 3 and half years later now and my head space is completely different.

But perhaps hes not been able to move on or accept this change. I guess its an impression hes made about me?

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Image courtesy | Blogger

He does seem to think he’s the cats whiskers and that everyone is below him. Anyway the next day dawned on us and I was wondering how the training will go.

I always ensure I am at the venue before time and reached 40 minutes before the scheduled time here as well. He had already set up the laptop and the sound system.

The Mac book was plugged in! I don’t know if there was remorse for his behavior from the previous evening but boy was there over compensation! I guess my message had been well received .

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Image courtesy | Mothers Who Work

No one can walk over you till you let them. That’s what I have learnt.

Saying no actually makes people respect you and take you seriously. Or at least think twice before asking you to do something ridiculous like take ownership and accountability for initiatives that were their responsibility in the first place.

Do you face issues in saying no? Try it once its very liberating.

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Image courtesy | XoNecole

I am not a people pleaser but if you are one and hence find it difficult to say no just be aware that there are enough people out there to take advantage of the fact that you can’t say no. To the extent that they think they are entitled to your support as in this case.

Two simple letters……N…..O……Coming together to form one simple word with immense power! NO!!

Much Love,

YLT

 

Beauty product

Eat | Sleep | Makeup | Repeat

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Image courtesy | athoughtfulplace.com

Hello Glamazons!

Today I decided to tell you what’s in my make up bag instead of again writing a product or subscription box review. Hope you enjoy what you read.

With the exception of special events and nights out, I keep my makeup minimal and natural-looking. I stick to the essentials, and here’s what’s currently in my makeup bag for everyday use, which I love!

  1. Eyeliners | I currently own five of these, 2 by MAC, 1 by Shiesido, 1 by Body Shop and one more by Chambor. I tend to be partial to blue eyeliners perhaps as the color really pops against my complexion.

    The shades I own are ‘So There Jade’ this a bluish green eyeliner by MAC and ‘Powerline’ which is a golden brown shade. The Shiesido one is ‘Brown’ and its a double ended one.

    On the one side it has the liner and on the other it has a sponge tip for smudging  out the line. The Body Shop one is in the shade ‘Brilliant Blue’ and it is a lovely peacock blue.

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Brilliant Blue | Image courtesy makeupandbeauty.com

 

The last eyeliner I own is the one by Chambor, in the shade ‘Teal Dazzle’. Unlike the ones above this one twists up and has a pretty floral design on the casing.

Kohl | If there was ever one product I would never leave the house without it would be kohl. I have the new Twist and Shout, Fadeproof Kajal by Sugar Cosmetics in the shade ‘Black Velvet’.

And its really good.

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Black Velvet | Image courtesy curiousandconfusedme.com

Mascara | I have the Collosal Volum Express by Maybelline. This is in the shade black.

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Black | Image courtesy Amazon.in

Lipsticks | Ooh ! This is the best part!! I love lipsticks!!

I currently own 5 shades of lipsticks. Revlon Colorburst Lacquer Balm in the shade ‘Coquette’, Shiesido Perfect Rouge lipstick in the shade RD346, Colorbar in the shade ‘Pretty Please’ and Shiesido Shimmering Rouge lipstick in  the shade Pink Champagne.

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Pink Champagne | Image courtesy ebay.com

Lipliners | This is my recent discovery! I don’t like to line my lips as I tend to wipe off lipstick after I eat and I find that the lipstick wipes off but the liner stays put.

So instead I have now started doubling up my lipliner as a lip color. Where I find that the liner is too  dry I top it up with lip balm.

The lip liners I own are Ofra in the shade ‘Maya’ and ‘Wine’, Lord & Berry in the shade ‘Romantic Rose’. I recently received a lip crayon from Lord & Berry in the shade ‘Vogue’ but am yet to try it out.

I own one by Laritzy in the shade ‘Deep Orchid’ and finally a lip enhancer by Model Co. in the shade ‘Nude’. My fave of these is ‘Maya’ by Ofra Cosmetics.

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Lip Enhancer | Image courtesy picclick.co.uk

Apart from these goodies I always keep at hand a lip balm. I currently own one by Caudalie Paris.

A dual sized, pencil sharpener for regular and oversized lip and eye pencils and a two sided magnifying mirror. All this contained in a super awesome make up bag!

Have a look at my awesome makeup bag!

 

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My makeup bag | Image courtesy Indianbeautyforever.com

I hope you enjoyed reading this. Click thumbs up and show this blog and I some love.

Subscribe and help me reach the magic number 13 with regards to the number of followers I want. (I currently have 9!)

Thank you for your time and remember to be kind to yourself ‘coz there’s no one like you.

Much Love!

YLT